My Hummingbird Cafe

These are times when women need the support of each other more than ever.  We are facing financial difficulties, Internet porn, sexual perversions and promiscuity that are paraded as normal, and our time is challenged by menial tasks that take us from our families.

We, as women, can help each other because of our natural inclination to feel the suffering in others and somehow console an aching spirit. This is what we need now.

Families are being attacked from all sides, when at work, school, and home through books, television programs, and socializing. It is impossible for family members to not be exposed to the negatives of our modern times. As a result, we need something that helps us manage the repercussions of our times.

Women are especially being attacked because they are the center of the family. The evil one can take down the family when he takes out the nurturer, the teacher of values, and the stability of the family.

Today, we see women being led down the path of vanity and self-centered compulsions instead of attending to their families. We’ve seen this problem too much lately. Women are spending more time away from home every day now, where she not only earns money but spends it as well on things that make her feel good.

• Regularly going out to lunch with friends
• Getting her hair and nails done regularly
• Buying make-up and other stuff that makes her look better
• Spends too much time shopping and socializing on the Internet

Women’s modern activities, as discussed above, are causing marriage and family sufferings. As a result, families are being pulled apart. It is sad to witness the consequences of all this, so please women, help each other keep from venturing out into the ways of the world and lose track of what is really important to us.

We cannot be intrusive on judgemental, but we need to be a support when asked. Sometimes we just have to be blunt like my sister did with me. I told her that something was wrong with me, “I don’t know why I am doing the things I am doing,” I said. The next words out of my mouth was, “It’s not Satan’s fault because he gets blamed for everything we do wrong. I am the one doing these things and I am responsible for them.”

When I told her what I was doing she said, “Why isn’t it Satan’s fault? Everything you are describing is rebelliousness. I’ve never known you to ever do anything rebellious so why are you doing them now? It’s not in your personality to be rebellious, the problem is that all of these things are your weakness that were used on you at once. This alerted your spirit to something being wrong but you didn’t know what or why. Now that you know these are your weak areas, watch yourself because you will see them slip in again from time to time.” She then gave me some very firm instructions that were right on target.

I had changed so much in a two week period that it scared me to think about how much farther I would have gone before I stopped myself. If I had not picked up on the feeling that something was wrong, would I have been able to turn things around soon enough before it destroyed my family? I know I would not still be married (45 years now) and our children would have gone down the tubes because they were making bad friends. I would have been too far gone to pay attention to their needs.

The point is that we are all subject to the ways of this world and can easily be enticed into things because we are human. We need a good friend, a good sister, and good neighbor to be bold when we need it. Had my sister not been bold and challenged me on it, I would not have recognized my folly or made any changes in the direction I was going.

We women need to stick together and be willing to listen when someone needs to talk. We need to remember that being supportive does not mean we tell them what to do or judge them. It means we listen, ask questions that help them find their way through the challenge and only when appropriate, be bold like my sister.

If you need someone to talk to, send me an email that will be kept personal. Send it to Judy@JudySherman.com.

We Can Become a Grove of Trees

Since the manufacturing era began, Community Spirit changed and our expectations of how we function as a society. We no longer think about helping out friends and neighbors. This means we miss the boat when we allow opportunities to help someone pass by, only because we didn’t know what people around us needed. Those missed opportunities are also missed blessings for us and for the person we could have helped.

Knowing what goes on in our own communities and neighborhoods not only makes us safer, but also makes us more likely to respond to a situation because we know about it. Perhaps this is a good time to consider our own Community Spirit and our need to improve in help when we see an opportunity.

One way we can help is when we see a person suffering from a life storm. We all suffer from a life storm at one time or another. . . it’s just part of living life on this planet. In order for us to weather life’s storms, we need to stand together as trees do for strength and protection– as if we are a grove of trees.

Have you noticed that, when they grow naturally, trees often grow closely together in a grove. When trees stand close enough, they can catch another as it falls and keeps it from crashing to the ground. Just as if we are a grove of trees standing closely together, we can lean against another when we fall until someone tethers us upright so we can stand again with support. Eventually, we will be able to stand on our own again without needing support.

Another benefit of being as a grove of trees is that many of us are standing closely enough together to help absorb the brunt of a life storm. In this way, we won’t have to withstand the full force of the storm by ourselves. The truth is, there is strength in standing together! We need each other to weather whatever life throws at us, and together we won’t have to face these storms alone.

We were not meant to live life without each other. We were created to be with each other, to need each other, to understand and love of each other, and to need the skills of others to do what we cannot do by ourselves. Needing each other is truly a blessing. Not allowing ourselves the benefit of needing others is a lonely place to be and is unnecessary.

It is okay to depend on communities, churches, and neighborhoods for assistance in difficult times; not only in handling life’s storms but in finding comfort in knowing that people care about us. It is also vital that we contribute back to the health and well-being of communities, churches, and neighborhoods. We have talents, gifts, and skills that we can provide to benefit others if we open up our hearts and be willing to give of ourselves. It is a blessing to give services to those who need our time and abilities.

Please help us move along this concept so people will start developing more Community Spirit, contributing to their communities, churches, and neighborhoods, and enjoying the blessings that only comes through serving others.

Perhaps you could speak to your church or community leaders about this subject, maybe even suggest a Town Hall meeting to discuss how to draw out more Community Spirit. In this way, you can help us promote this concept and awaken the natural desire inside people to restore their Community Spirit.

The times ahead of us are going to become very troublesome, with the dollar crashing, the economies around the world and our own becoming a mess, our liberties being challenged by corruption, and Mother Nature kicking up her heels all over the world, we will be needing to become as a grove of trees. Are you with me?

Examples Of Community Spirit

Let me give you two personal examples of a community helping out when there is a need.

We lived in the Mountains and were new to that lifestyle. We were city people and unprepared for “Freeze Your Butt Canyon” in the winter time. When a new acquaintance named Joyce Hightower came to visit, she noticed that our home was freezing cold because our source of heat was inadequate.

Joyce went home and told her husband Al about the cold living conditions that we had with four children and a husband gone during the week. My husband had to work three hours away from home in Santa Clara California, and so he came home only on weekends.

Al and a group of men showed up at our house with a wood-burning stove for us. The women came too with hot chocolate and snacks to eat while the men installed the heater–FOR FREE! We later paid Al for the wood-burning stove he gave us, even though he did not expect us to pay for it. The men had purchased the supplies they needed from their own funds and installed the stove with no strings attached. The whole event turned into a joyous social event. We felt very blessed!

Another time we had a huge oak tree fall down in the front yard and take out the entire porch. As a result, we could not open the front or kitchen door to get out of the house. However, we could still use the back door. When Al and his friends learned about the tree on our porch, again they and the women showed up with a team of workers, snacks and hot chocolate.

Keep in mind that, not once, did I have to ask for help. When they learned of a problem, they showed up with supplies and ready to work. This is the way a community should function. These events took place in the 1980′s. . . not the 1800′s. So, as you see, when we commit to it, we can function the same way today as they did in “Wild West” days.

Most people have lost their desire to care for each other. We’ve become so wrapped up in taking care of our own concerns and obligations that we no longer notice suffering outside of our little corner of the world. In default, we’ve developed an attitude that government should take care of us instead of the community. This expectation has been passed down through the generations to today.

Think back to when people cared about their neighbors. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, perhaps you’ve seen this situation in a movie. People actually cared about what their neighbors thought, felt, and needed and they tried to meet those needs as a community.

My brother kept using the word “community” as we talked about caring for neighbors. Finally, I asked what he meant by the word community. He said that community embodies the forgotten values of the “Old West”, when people raised a house or a barn in one day because a farmer needed it.

«CLICK HERE FOR PART 3»

What Is Community Spirit?

Let us consider embracing Community Spirit standards from the “Old Wild West”, where communities helped each other when a need arose. Do you understand what I mean by “Old West” type of Community Spirit?

I am thinking of a farmer who has been injured and cannot plow his field. If he doesn’t plow he can’t plant, and if he doesn’t plant there will be no food to eat or income from his crop. The community shows up and helps him plow his field and plant his crop.

In general, we’ve become so narcissistic in satisfying our own needs that we forget to notice the suffering of others. Indeed, our focus is on obtaining necessities and on what we want but don’t have yet. This is when we look elsewhere outside of ourselves or to others for satisfaction.

We look elsewhere because we think that we cannot do it on our own or because we recognize that really don’t have the ability to do it on our own. When we are unwilling to wait for what we want or need, we put more effort into getting help for what we want (in the form of loans or taking short-cuts) than we do in taking the right steps to get it when we can.

As a community, we need to have the same “Old Wild West Spirit” in helping people who need assistance. People often NEED something that they can’t get on their own — such as a farmer needing help with his field — and we can help them when we have the right attitude.

This is not about helping people obtain a WISH or WANT, although it is a worthy thing to do and we feel good about doing it, it’s about helping satisfy legitimate NEEDS first.

It is disheartening when we see people placing more priority on their own wishes or wants than they do on helping someone. On the other hand, though, we also see people who get very angry if they don’t get the assistance they expect or demand.

Demanding people have a bad attitude towards those who have money and expect them to help fill the void. It’s true they need help, but NO ONE is required to give assistance when it is demanded; especially when he does not try to help himself.

We were created with a brain and a body to do things for ourselves. As such, we are expected to care for our personal and family’s needs when we are able. When we are not able, those who can assist us are expected to help instead of lavishing themselves with STUFF they don’t really need. There is nothing more pathetic than an excessively wealthy person ignoring the needy. It is sickening!

An example of looking outside of our community for assistance is looking to government programs now for satisfying our basic needs. Slowly, we’ve given up own ability to be self-reliant because we think that’s what we have to do in order to get what we need from government. I understand the reasons we think this is true, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Perhaps we need to tweak our perspective a little so that we see things from a different angle. «CLICK HERE FOR PART 2»